the big D

dear Big D,

Alhamdulillah.
you're finally here.
finally here.


can't exactly explain how i feel
now that you're here.
fully satisfied?
not really sure about that.
regretful?
not that either.
maybe just pure relief.
i eventually managed to bring you to life
despite months of tension
endless mind blocks
numbers of procrastination
return journeys to the library
the love-hate relationships with piles of written papers
some skipped breakfast and proper sleeps
screams of desperation
the maintenance of forced efforts
the nearly-fainted moments
and other things that i wish not to can't remember.
so i guess, i am truly relieved after all.

see this? that is only on my bed. you haven't seen the mess that you bring to my life.
 yes, somehow i'm very happy that you're finally here
as a dedication to my dear family
future family, future students
and everyone else whom I love.  
alhamdulillah (:
all thanks to Him.
and to everyone else
who helps me to bring you here.

please take good care of yourself
now that you're on your own
for your Judgement Days.
and please remember
my prayers are always with you
hoping that you'll be safe and sound.
so please come back fast
and bring a good news
or at least a bearable one.


sincerely,
the one who is eagerly waiting for you
but will never miss you.

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